I know it has been ages since I last wrote. Here I am, 6 months pregnant, and I've had lots to report and lots of exciting things happen, but haven't had the time to really put it all out there. The holidays were crazy and I feel like by the time my Christmas tree was up, it was back down again. We were all over the place, I got a cold, and my typing fingers went on hiatus. Shit happens.
There are really two big items I want to share, then I will get to the point of this post:
1. IT IS A BOY! We are happy to announce we will have a second little boy. It's amazing how many people I don't really know have said, "Oh, are you disappointed it's not a girl?" or something like that as their first reaction. How about "congratulations!" or a simple "I am happy for you!"? To be honest, yes, I have had some pangs of sadness over the fact that I may never have a daughter, but I am over the moon excited and happy to have a healthy little boy growing in my belly like a little weed. The more I think about it, the more thrilled I am that Jonathan will have a brother, and they will have each other for life.
2. HUSBAND HAS FINISHED SCHOOL! He is done. Finished. It is over. I am so glad to have him back during the night, and to see him a little less stressed out. Now, onto finding a full-time job for him! He's had some interviews, so let's keep our fingers, toes, arms, legs -- everything -- crossed that he gets a good offer, soon, at a place he will ENJOY working. Lord knows the income will be welcome, but I also want to finally see him settled some place where he will be an appreciated employee.
Okay, so back to what is on my mind, which kind of plays into #1 up there. I am a member of a birth board, where ladies expecting babies the same month I am due can bitch and moan about being pregnant, laugh about cravings, look for support when having issues, etc. Lately, I have seen a lot of posts about mothers in law, specifically issues that these women are having with their MILs wanting to be present for the birth of the baby, and wanting to stay at their house for days after the baby is born. I understand, some MILs can be heinous, rude and inconsiderate human beings. I can see why, if she is like that, they wouldn't want to have this woman around during labor and then in their house during those first CRUCIAL days of settling in at home.
It is just the way these ladies talk about their MILs. My God, these women sound horrible! It makes me wonder if they are THAT bad, like I said above, or if they are just being a little over dramatic because ::gasp:: the woman wants to be invovled.
I get a sinking feeling deep inside my gut when reading these posts, though; it's almost a sense of sadness and anxiety for my future. I will have two sons ... I will BE the mother in law. I will probably play second fiddle to my sons' spouses' moms, and I understand that, but I don't want my daughter-in-law to feel that way about me. I don't want her to grimace at the idea of having me present to help -- not that I feel like I should be so involved that I am literally pulling the kid out of her vagina and claiming first dibs on the baby for a photo op -- but I would love to visit in the hospital. I'd love the come by after they are home to make dinner, clean and tend to the baby to let my daughter-in-law rest. I wouldn't need to stay at their house if they didn't have the space, and I would come on their terms. It doesn't seem that difficult to me, to be a little considerate of their wants and needs during a pivotal time in life. I just hope that is appreciated and understood.
My mother and I are VERY close, and I rely on her for comfort and as a friend. If my future daughter-in-law has a relationship like that with her mom, I will respect that and I won't try to squash anyone's toes. Her mom will be the first to know when anything exciting happens and I'd expect her to want her mom around when they are first home with the baby.
Now, while I am close with my mom, I try mt best to include my MIL, a mother of three boys, because she deserves to play a role in my kids' lives just as much as my parents do. I know I can be stubborn; I have my moments of being snappy, and I am not perfect ... but I am trying the best I can with this. Hopefully karma lends me a bone and returns the favor by sending my boys someone who will try to put some effort in, too.
And, if somehow someone I don't know winds up reading this post and has negative feelings toward their MIL, especially if they have a son or are expecting a baby boy, please try to take a minute to realize that the tables will turn in the future, and maybe she deserves another chance.
(...unless she beat your husband silly as a kid, is always asking for money or is straight-up mean. We have to draw the line somewhere, right?)
A ittle empathy goes a long way.
And that's all I have to say about that. Hopefully it doesn't take me months to post again. I'm sure I will have more on my mind before this baby comes! Sixteen more weeks to go, but he could come early if he's like his big brother. So, we shall see!
Have a good one, folks!
