15 Weeks, 4 Days

And no second trimester relief in sight. Seriously. I'm sitting here at my desk during lunch sipping ginger ale. I had chicken noodle soup for lunch. My head is pounding.

This kid is kicking my ass. I'm also on thyroid medicine since baby likes to steal all of my thyroid stimulating hormone and leave me with less than I should really have for myself. That happened with Jonathan, too, though.

It could be a mix of things, really, causing me to feel crappy. Ultimately, I am sure hormones are to blame, but this week has been nothing short of stressful.

Hubs' Nana passed away Saturday morning. It was expected, but it doesn't make it any easier. She was 91 years old. We'll be traveling the six hours up to northcentral PA for the services later this week, only to come right back for an event for the Army we have to attend later in the day after the funeral.

Busy times, I'd say.

We also found out yesterday the cost of daycare for two kids will literally be like paying for two houses at once. I knew it was going to be pricey, but shit, I am still dealing with a little sticker shock.

I'm trying hard to not let that get to me too much, but knowing we want to buy a house and maybe trade in a car for something bigger brings on the anxiety -- will we be able to afford life??

Then the rational side of me comes barreling through and reminds me that hubs will be finished with school soon, working full time shortly after, so we will be okay.

That's what I keep telling myself at least; it's going to be okay.

In all reality, Jonathan will be in Kindergarten one year after baby starts daycare. So, that's just one year of shelling out a chunk of money.

Next week is my 16 week appointment. I am definitely looking forward to it. I am now at the point where I'm visibly pregnant. Some folks who don't know me may question it, but it's pretty obvious, I think, that I haven't just been downing too many cookies lately and I do, in fact, have a human growing inside me. I'm also getting antsy to start to feel baby move. I've heard you usually feel it earlier with your second, and I think I have felt some flutters, but I really can't wait for that big kick! It sets my mind at ease to feel the baby move and know he or she is doing okay.

AND, in just about a month, we find out WHO that human is in there. I don't have any "gut" feelings, probably because all of my husband's family seem to think it's got to be a boy, simply because of genetics. Maybe they're right. Maybe we will have two boys. If so, THAT IS FINE - OKAY? It seems like a lot of people think having a second boy will be a disappointment. I'm being 100 percent honest here when I say I. Will. Not. Be. Disappointed.

I have a friend whose six-month-old is awaiting a heart transplant. Another friend of a friend lost their baby after one year due to a rare disease causing him to need bone marrow transplants regularly.

I just want my child to be healthy. Happy. Safe. Regardless of the gender. I'd like a little smoother of a delivery this time, too, but that's really not up to me now, is it? I can share Jonathan's birth story another time. That warrants its own post.

Well, now, back to the grind of work and trying to survive the rest of the day. One thing I cannot miss is my meeting with a fitness specialist. I am going to learn about weight safety so I can try to work out a bit through this pregnancy. I want to be in decent shape when I have this baby, so once I am cleared to work out I can hopefully jump back into the swing of things. I really just want to be smokin' by my 30th birthday which will be just about one year after baby is born!

For now, adieu, my friends. Be well, and have a Happy Thanksgiving if I don't post before then!

13 Weeks, 4 Days

Well, hey, there, land of the blog. It's been a while, and I am sorry I broke my promise.

I actually broke a lot of promises to myself this year and, well, it sucks when you think back on how ambitious you felt months ago and compare that where you are now, realizing not much has changed.

I haven't finished my novel. I sure have thought about my main character, though. She's currently at a moment where she needs to make a very important decision that could very well tear her marriage apart, but could give her the excitement she needs to feel alive again. Shit. I should get back to that.

I haven't been blogging faithfully. I've been busy working, going home and doing dinner/bath for kid/bedtime for kid and wanting to just relax. Excuses, excuses, excuses -- I know. I have, at least, gotten J Man fully potty trained. WIN. Major win.

Also, if you couldn't tell from the title. I AM PREGNANT. I guess you could say that is one thing I had hoped to accomplish this year that I luckily could check off the list. We are due May 10!

I really want to use this blog as an outlet through the next 7 months or so. I've had a lot of things come to me that I wanted to write down so far, and I haven't. Dangit, I am going to stick to it this time.

So, brief little recap here: hubs is almost finished with school, and my due date, yeah, that's his graduation day. Way to go, us, right? If things go our way, baby will come early. J Man was three weeks early. Otherwise, I will be hugely pregnant at graduation, holding a little baby, or in the hospital. I really, REALLY, do not want to be in the hospital. I desperately want to be there to see hubs graduate!

We told J Man about the baby pretty much as soon as we found out. We wanted him involved from the beginning, and I also wanted him to understand why mommy may not be able to do some of the things I usually do for him while I grow the baby in my belly. That, of course, prompted a ton of questions and hysterical moments which I will save for a future post.

Another future post I will save is about the gender. Obviously, we'd love to have a little girl. We want two kids, and if we have the girl, we'll be even! A lot of people are convinced this is a boy, though. I've come to accept that if I have a second boy, I will have my two boys, and enjoy watching them grow. I have seen too many people go through hard times with babies and losses that I feel I should be grateful for a healthy baby. Period. And I will be.

Anyway, before this gets too long, I will go ahead and close it out. I have lots of ideas for topics I want to cover, and am excited to be back in the saddle again. I'm not sure if I will post weekly, as my pregnancy progresses, or if I will want to do some in-between posts, too. That's likely.

I hope you all have a great week/few days and that life is treating you well. Until next time, folks! :)

ETA: I should mention that yes, I did accomplish landing a job (phew!) and this page has NOT moved to a new site yet. I have a domain, but with hubs in school and working, as well as me working, we haven't had the time to make it "right." We'll get there, though.