Twenty children went to school today expecting to make gingerbread houses, learn, play with their friends and then go home to their families to enjoy the weekend.
It's a little over a week until Christmas; I bet they were wondering what Santa was going to bring them.
I am still having a hard time truly comprehending how someone could take the lives of twenty children. Or anyone for that matter. But children should not have to fear walking into school.
Twenty sets of parents went home to toys in the livingroom, unmade beds, dishes with Disney characters on them in the sink and clothes in the laundry. All items that belong to a child who will not come home. The pain must be debilitating.
Bedtime with my son is usually a drawn out process. He brushes his teeth, goes potty (if I am lucky; potty training has proven to be quite challenging in our house), we read stories and then he basically talks, rolls around, tries to get up and play, sometimes poops, and then -- eventually -- likely, 90 minutes later, he is asleep. By the end of it, I am either ready to rip my hair out, have a glass of wine or just flop on the floor in exhaustion.
Tonight, though it was shorter than usual as he was extra tired, I laid with him until his breaths became deeper and more drawn out. I watched his fingers gently curl into his hand as his body relaxed. Studying every curve of his face and brushing his bangs off his forehead, I actually felt like I could cry. Thinking of someone hurting my child infuriates me. The thought of someone taking the life of my child not only brings anger, but also sadness and emptiness.
We all pray for our children's safety and health. We hear stories of children taken from us far too soon due to an illness or a car accident. This, however -- this is unheard of. No parent should have to bury their child, and no town should ever have to endure the horrific events that occurred today.
Parenting is tough. No one trains you; no one tells you that this tiny human will fill you with a love like you have never experienced before, a love that nothing could compare to. Sleepless nights, tantrums and picky eating are all things that can, for a moment, put you over the edge and, like I said before, make you feel like you're temporarily insane. It's a day like like this one that serves as a harsh, brutal reminder that these are all normal parts of life and, though stressful, I wouldn't change it for the world. Appreciate every moment because you really, truly never know if it will be the last you have.
My deepest sympathies go out to everyone affected by the shooting today. I do not know you, but I am mourning with you. I wish you strength and courage as you face the days ahead.
To all of those who lost their lives: May angels lead you in.
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